Lungs Filled with Heart

I image you, like me, struggle to leave your favorite getaways.

I love my house in town, the familiarity of my routines. But when I have the chance to visit our family homestead in the Texas Hill Country, my inhales and exhales are deeper, stronger.

Unless it’s morning and the birds are in chorus, sometimes the wind is the only sound I hear. And at night, depending on the moon, the darkness nestles around me like a secure, weighted blanket.

It is not only the surrounding nature that soothes me, it is the space, the vastness of the farm fields in front of, and behind the house. We do not own the farmland. We do not have to worry about when it rains, when to plant, what to grow. But we can watch the process unfold and bear witness to life sprouting.

In this place, where my great-great-grandparents immigrated and settled in the 1840’s, the soil is rich, the air is clean. Each time the 350 year old Oak sways with the wind, I hear the whispers of my ancestors saying “das ist gut.” Yes, it is good.

Here, movement comes from wind, visible by swaying grasses and tree branches, or flames in the fire pit,

or the old windmill.

There is no traffic, only a tractor that drives down the path toward its duty.

Instead of the wailing of sirens, the sandhill cranes bugle their calls.

Here, the sunsets are not obstructed by buildings.

Here, time moves slowly and self-reflection is possible in the silence.

Until next time.

Do you have a favorite place that is difficult to leave behind?

The Way of Things

I remember this, my last conversation with Papa.

He, trying to alleviate our pain.

But I heard, through his bravado

the saddened beat of my heart

submerged in deep water

no knowledge of how to stay afloat

grief no words could express

He said,

“Remember the sandhill crane?”

How could I forget?

Long necks

the sound of their rattle calls  

broad wings flying over

ancestral farmland

He said,

“She’s like the hourglass that drips the sand of time

replenishes herself by picking leftovers from the field

She keeps moving forward.

She never stops.

She is you

and she is me.

Our fields, too deep to forget

Too vast to go away.

I will never truly leave you” 

“Is this the way of things, Papa?”

 “Ja, mein liebes.” 

“It is,” he smiled.

sandhill-cranes-dancing-jon-janosik

 

Prose adapted from my novel, “Naked, She Lies

Photo credit

Express

A Priceless Photo

For my mom, on the right, having family over on Sundays took the sting out of being an only child. (photo taken in the early 1930’s) No doubt, after the women made a hearty lunch, the men drank homemade German beer and smoked cigars while they played poker.

Screenshot 2017-09-17 14.26.37

 

Daily photo prompt: Sting

The Emigrant’s Legacy

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Strong hands once built a structure

in 1889

Ancestors who worked endlessly

in an old, unsettled time.

 

And now, tis I who benefits

a creation made of stone

this house, a loving bounty

and a place I call “my own”.

 

Author’s note: The “homestead” was built by my great-great grandparents after they immigrated from Germany in the 1840’s. This house is shared with the appreciating many.

 

Das ist Gut

In the 1840’s my great-great grandparents forged their way from Germany to Texas to escape oppression. I picture my Great-great grandfather finding this location, plunking up a handful of rich soil and saying “Das ist Gut” (this is good). It was here, in the Texas Hill Country, where they homesteaded.

My maternal grandfather bought the property – over 350 acres – from his siblings. My grandparents lived here for forty years of their marriage but sold it to a cousin when age made farm life too difficult. Then, the cousin lost it when he divorced.

Thirty years later, we got the homestead back in the family. Although we only own 4 acres, we benefit from our neighbor who owns the surrounding farmland.

It is quiet, peaceful and brings us back to our roots. It is our Heritage.

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My grandfather was born in the original log cabin. My mother was born in the main house where the plaque above the door reads “1889”- the year the main house was built.

IMG_5719If only this 4-500 year-old oak could talk.IMG_4264.jpg

But the sunsets speak for themselves.

We go there when we can and, each time, our souls are renewed.