The Shape of Cono’s Being.

In a previous post titled, The Shape of our Being, I mentioned how experiences shape our humanness. Here’s another example of the “shape” of Carolyn’s Being that shows up in my novels.

Disclaimer: I’m betting on my ‘underdog-ness’ again–that part of me who feels uncomfortable with self-promotion. But try, we must. Right?

NOTE: No Hill for a Stepper, is about Cono, my father (and a huge piece of my heart) who died in 2009 before its publication. Don’t worry, he read and loved the first draft.

In 1942, victimized his entire life by his own father,  fourteen-year-old Cono must stand  up against him an protect his mother and little sister.

Excerpt:

I hear Mother scream. I snap back into the present, out of my daydream. Maybe she’s woken up, has seen blood on her sheets reflected in moonlight, seen the blood on Dad’s face. I start to get up, but the quiet has taken over; but only for a moment.

I hear a voice I know is Dad’s but different somehow, guttural like a wolf’s growl. I hear Mother say, “Stop it Wayne!”

My feet touch the floor before the rest of me knows what it’s doing. I open my door. Mother is backing towards me, but away from the bloodied-face man holding a butcher knife, glistening from moonlight, shiny like a raccoon’s mirror. He’s stumbling towards her. My mind freezes. It’s a scene from a scary picture show. No, Cono, I tell myself, this is real. Real life, real time.

Dad’s stopped walking. He’s swaying back and forth like an old porch swing. No, more like the swing of a hanged man’s noose. His eyes are glazed like a film of anger is laying on top that he can’t wipe away. He glances once over to the couch where Pooch is sleeping.

“Mother, keep backing up towards me,” I tell her.

She stares at my father but listens to my words. Dad stops at the kitchen table, he puts his empty palm on the table for balance, the butcher knife in the other hand swaying by his side.

“C’mon, Mother, keep coming to me,” I say softly, feeling a surge of calm and determination at the same time.

Mother has backed all the way up me. I pull her behind my door into the bedroom where Delma is still sleeping. Mother is shaking. My hands are doing the same now. I see our .22 sitting on the open shelf just a few feet away. It’s so close I can almost feel it. It’s like the .22 Hoover found, the one I felt in my hands, the cold steel of it. Now, I want to feel the warm safety of it.

A fear invades my body like a sickness. I’m drowning, but not in water. I’m drowning in the fear of what to do next, what I need to do to protect my family from a madman.

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Here’s Cono, my dad. My sister had the novel photoshopped into his hands and gave me this awesome framed photo.

Emma June’s Brain Percolates

From The Moonshine Thicket (1928)

“Frank never did anything to make Mama and Daddy fight. And, he had nothing to do with Mama leaving. Being mad at him would be like Choppers being mad at me for only having two legs.

“I’m sure.”

“And I never told Miss Helen you helped me with that delivery. Just so you know. So, we’re still friends?”

“Still friends,” I tell him.

I spit on my palm and stick it out for him to shake. He smiles and spits. I look him in the eye and shake his wet hand. Friendship, settled.

My brain percolates like Miss Helen’s never-dry coffee pot. I don’t worry about my questions. I worry about what Miss Helen will say when she answers.”

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The Shape Of Meta’s Being

“I’m going to bet on MY ‘underdog-ness’ and give this a shot. Some might sigh a bit when they see a fellow blogger try to promote their work. But try we must.” CD-W

In a previous post titled, The Shape of our Being, I mentioned how our experiences shape our humanness, including the Carolyn Being (a work in progress). My “shape” shows up in my novels. In this excerpt from The Last Bordello, Sadie, a prostitute in a 1901 bordello, escorts the virtuous Meta (who accepted Madam Fannie’s offer to be the bordello’s pianist) on a tour of the city.

And truly, thanks for hanging with me!

“Meta, I know this is your first time to a big city. I want to be fair. There is something I want you to understand.” She paused, gathering my attention. “People in town know I’m a painted lady, a prostitute. Or, as some like to say, a lowly whore.”

“But—”

Sadie held up a hand. “Being seen with me is almost as bad as being a prostitute yourself. People will judge you. Your reputation could be tainted by merely being seen in my presence. I truly don’t want any harm or ill will to come to you. I don’t want you embarrassed by my company.”

Perhaps this was Aunt Amelia’s concern, what she wanted to tell me. If the public thought less of me for playing the piano at a bordello, I didn’t care. Weren’t even prostitutes and their customers entitled to the magic of music?

Unlashing Sadie’s grasp, I stepped a foot to the side. “Sadie, I appreciate your honesty. Now,” I said, my grin widening, “shall we walk back arm in arm like schoolgirls?”

Sadie’s white teeth glistened in the February sun. “Yes,” she said, interlocking an elbow with mine. “Onward to the next stop.”

Excerpt from an Amazon review:

“She uses the issues of the day to create a timely portrait of strong women supporting each other and taking control of their lives. Who would have imagined that these themes would still be as relevant as they are?”

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Elizabeth Cady Stanton, women’s right activist

 

 

So You Want to Wear a Safety Pin

Good one.

isobeldebrujah's avatarWhat a Witch

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Great. This is a necessary behavior in the face of the election of the most overtly racist, sexist, xenophobic, anti- gender and sexual minority candidate in the history of the modern United States. You know the rhetoric of his campaign was wrong. It was the very worst thing about America and you want to do what you can to combat the result. Good. Do that.

But don’t do it without a plan. Because the very last thing a tense situation needs is someone full of good intentions but with no knowledge of de-escalation tactics or self-defense. Your intentions are not a tangible shield. If you don’t make a plan, you will get yourself or the person you are trying to defend very killed.

Let’s avoid that.

So make a plan.

Some of you can stop reading now. You have, or know how to make a plan and you don’t need…

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Don’t like the Outcome?

 

People are upset about the outcome of the election. I understand that. Here are two things you can do.

The U.S. Constitution  gave us the right to assemble peacefully in protest.

– Amendment I: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

The rights of protesters. This link answers specific rules of conduct.

Do counter-demonstrators have free speech rights?

Q.Do counter-demonstrators have free speech rights?

A.Yes. Although counter-demonstrators should not be allowed to physically disrupt the event they are protesting, they do have the right to be present and to voice their displeasure. Police are permitted to keep two antagonistic groups separated but should allow them to be within the general vicinity of one another.

DO NOT BE VIOLENT. It will defeat your goals.

“Friends, don’t tell me how to feel. Just remind me how to act.” CD-W

Second – add your name to Petition Electoral Electors 

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Why the eagle?

President John F. Kennedy added to the list of noble descriptors when he wrote to Charles Callison of the National Audubon Society on July 18, 1961: “The founding fathers made an appropriate choice when they selected the bald eagle as the emblem of the nation . The fierce beauty and proud independence of this great bird aptly symbolizes the strength and freedom of America.”

 

Oh, Say Can You See?

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… of the United States, have elected a new president and I spent most of yesterday in the dark, literally.

Do I blame those who voted differently than me? Of course not. Our forefathers gave us that right.

The ground beneath me (perhaps yours) has cracked and shifted. Like a desert with no water? I hope not.

Oh say can you hear?

–how the voices on both sides were loud, strongly opposing, and severely divided.

On Tuesday night, did we form a “more perfect union?”

Do you hear Lady Liberty’s song, the lyrics still tucked in my brain after singing them almost every day in my elementary school music class?

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No, not anymore. Not anymore.

We have chosen a different kind of candidate. “In order to form a more perfect Union”?

Oh say can you feel? Why I am sad? Bear with me here.

I follow politics, but I am not a politician. I am not skilled in the workings of politics nor do I hold a public office.

But I do hold something else and have carried it for a long time.

I was a quiet hippy kid in high school when our psychology class took a field trip to the state school that housed our mentally impaired. After other classmates had shooed her away, a five-year-old girl with Down Syndrome climbed up my (then) skinny body like I was an oak tree. We clung to each other as if life depended on it. For me, it did. Her grip so tight, the attendants had to peel her away from me. But I never forgot her, that little girl who helped me choose what path to take.

In high school, I avoided conflict. In speech class we had a student who kept to himself. He wore thick glasses and could read only if the text was an inch from his face. One day we had a fire drill. My speech class, including this student, left the building and united with others on the school grounds. A popular football player pushed the boy, laughed, called him a name.

“And the rocket’s red…” glared.

The quiet, non-conflict Carolyn tugged his sleeve and yelled, “Hey! What are you doing!”

I had shocked myself. But I had discovered that indignity was too powerful for me to ignore.

Mr. Trump brought back that memory. To me, he was that bully who not only mocked that reporter but pushed my classmate with the thick glasses.

At UT Austin, I went from studying Special Ed to Early Childhood. After tugging my professor’s arm, I was allowed to student teach at a Title XX  low income center where I interacted with children of all races and religions. I learned.

And the man said, “I like kids. I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of them.”

I graduated, ran a Child Development Center, taught my staff about  bias-free education, and how to implement it in their classrooms.  I spoke at state and local conferences on why teaching tolerance was so important to, not just our country, but to our world.

Intolerance scrapes, tugs and wrenches my insides.

People with disabilities, African Americans, Mexican Americans,  women, the LBGT community, children, illegal immigrants, Muslim Americans, (the list continues) all of us, want to see a better world, have a better life.

Some used to proudly say America is melting pot. I  believe we are a beautifully tossed salad and, in our giant bowl, each ingredient adds a special flavor.

I have to believe that we are not a union of intolerance. I do not want to believe that intolerance motivated people to vote for Trump. But if he won the electoral vote because his voters wanted change in our government, I can accept the decision. Because that reasoning trumps intolerance.

We are all huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Let’s just huddle a little closer to one another and let freedom to ring for all.

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The nine stages of blogging – with cats

Too funny not to share!!

Milly Rogers's avatarMilly Rogers Author

There are around 65 million bloggers on WordPress – and god knows how many more that use other platforms. But no matter which one you use, it’s most likely that every single one of you go through the following nine stages (and if you don’t I bow down to you oh holy one):

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