Hands.
Mine only hold this journal. Only the extremities of an invisible will turn the pages, a wind blowing each folio to the next, unaware of the marks of my pen.
Knowing this, frees me.
The apparition will lurk in the abyss, or stand on the Precipice, hovering close by yet not close enough to dissuade me from this writing. My right hand writes as my left holds the open book.
Hands. Hands of a father’s so calloused from farm work, yet so gentle, reassuring and kind. Hands that held me when I cried, hugged me in pride, sheltered me when anything bad happened.
Papa’s hands, so stiff and cold I could feel my guilt when I touched them.
I could not go with him beneath our Texas soil. Instead, I had to swallow the bitter taste of a life void of his teachings and wisdom.
Hands of a clock that have ticked forward four years.
Hands. My own forming into fists. A change of course is overdue.
What I did visualize at a young age, was that, no matter what, I would be a mother.
Carolyn Dennis-Willingham 