How to take a joy ride in an elevator

You know how we sometimes feel uncomfortable in a crowded elevator? How people stare at their feet like they think they’re growing another foot? Or stare at the doors silently thinking, “Hurry up and open. Hurry up and open.” ?

If you are tired of elevator boredom, here are a few of my favorite ideas (from this list) to add a bit of wit to your day:

  • Sell Girl Scout cookies.
  • Shave.
  • Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.
  • Bring a chair along (second favorite)
  • Do Tai Chi exercises. (On this one, you might have to ask others to stand back)
  • Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
  • Start a sing-along.
  • Play the harmonica. (Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen comes to mind)
  • Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
  • Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. (for me, this comes in first)

 

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Or, you can always take the stairs.

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Daily th 2  said, “Try to be Witty. But don’t strain yourself in the process.”

 

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Launch

My brain is prime for the rhyme these days. So when I saw the daily word prompt was launch? Egads!

If you are expecting me to say “paunch,” well, see yesterday’s poem post – Hand Over That Fry!

And yes, I’m a staunch supporter of the Try-New-Things-Club.

Therefore, let’s talk about the conch shell?

Pretty, aren’t they?

What? You Americans say it’s pronounced with a “k” sound at the end?

Yeah, well apparently Britains pronounce it so it rhymes with the daily word prompt.

So there!

Seriously, who wouldn’t want to write something poetic about the conch shell and its beauty?

Because when I launch my ear up to a conch,

I hear the World of Sea

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Conch Shell Beach is a painting by Stephen Jorgensen

Daily word prompt: Launch

 

Awareness

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Day One:

It poured on my parade of glee

a deluge in my eyes

the incidence,

no coincidence

Lost days, a sad demise.

Day Two:

Once again the morning comes

the sun makes its reprise

I leap in joy

’till learnt the ploy

in the snake’s unveiling eyes.

Day Three:

Hope knocks on my door and says

“Forgot we are allies?”

I turn and ear

from which I hear

“Self pity, so unwise.”

Day Four:

Rain or sun, it matters not

life’s twists and turns surprise

for if not so

we’d fail to know

the blessings in disguise.

 

 

Artwork by Rene Magritte

Daily Word Prompt: Coincidence

 

 

 

 

Is my brain nutty-fied?

To help myself get to sleep, I’ve discovered this trick. I close my eyeballs and “stare” at the back of my eyelids looking for shapes — usually they’re faces. As my brain relaxes, I focus on other images that pop into my semi-consciousness. This one happened the other night so I had to photoshop it so I could show you.

Yes, that’s right. I saw an image of Barny Fife (The Andy Griffith Show) with banana bike handlebars coming out of his head. Geez!

Why, oh why, of all things, this?!

Then it came to me. Earlier in the day I had watched part of an old movie staring Andy Griffith. And, I’ve been contemplating riding my bike again. But my bike isn’t of the banana variety nor does it have streamers on the handles.

What’s one to do?

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daily word prompt: Focused

She “took a knee” and …

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I once knew a girl named Strict Janet

the Moonshine Still, she ran it

one sip of her “tea”

at once took a knee

and she kicked me off the “free” planet

Dammit!

 

Planet– Daily Word Prompt

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Internal Lies

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Why, the mighty serpent,

lay coiled beneath the sea?

Malicious, angry, frightened

of an aimless destiny.

 

That breath of ire, that binding twist

all internal lies

The whip of tongue, the slash of swords –

veiled in mocked disguise.

 

How then, perchance, to come alive

in apathetic scales

To lighter states, to softer heart –

what happiness entails.

 

Unleash the truth and let it soar

to surface, past the churning

through honest waves of grace be found

a myriad of yearning.

 

 

 

daily post prompt: Mighty

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Poems of the Heart

Before I gift you with my favorite poem (and I DO believe it to be a worthy present) I want to share something with you.

My mother loved birds. She loved watching them eat from their feeders and poke their beaks at her sliding glass door. And, she watched them as she became weaker with age.

I knew of this poem but, after Mom died, it took on a greater significance. As a gift, my sister had this necklace made for me.

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On the flip side is the first stanza of my favorite poem.

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Here is the beautiful poem by Emily Dickinson:

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A big thank you to Ms. Dickinson for creating this poem and to my sister for gifting me with this reminder.

And especially to Mom who, kept warm my soul.

Hope is the thing with feathers.

 

 

Daily Word Prompt: Crumb

The violence in apple pie

We finish our meal and Mother takes all the empty plates off the table and replaces them with the little ones made especially for slices of apple pie.

I take my first bite. The crust is the perfect cover for the apples that melt like butter in my mouth. I eat every single bit of my piece. I even lick my pointer finger and use it like a fork just so I can pick up any stray crumbs.

Ike’s pie is still sitting there, untouched of course. Everybody knows Ike would just as soon be chewing on a piece of mesquite bark than to eat pie. He says he prefers to get his sugar from a whiskey bottle.

I stare at his piece and see that it’s bigger than mine was. The sweet apples ooze out the sides between the top and bottom crust. It’s calling me forward, challenging me to come and get it.

I slowly reach over and pull Ike’s pie in front of me. I stare down at it and wonder if Ike’s piece is gonna taste as good as my first.

Dad says nary a word when he reaches across the table and slowly pulls that slice of pie back over to Ike like we’re playing a game of checkers. I concentrate thinking that the next move is mine. I smile and slowly pull that pie towards me thinking I should be kinged.

The hard slap across my face surprises me and drives me halfway out of my chair.

What the hell just happened?

I stand up knocking my chair over, grab a knife off the table, and swing it under Dad’s chin, wanting to cut his head plumb off.

I’ve made a big mistake. I missed.

Dad runs around to my side of the table holding a craze of fire where his eyes used to be. He grabs me by my shirt collar, and kicks a table leg that snaps off. Dishes crash to the floor. He drags me to the door. I hear it slam shut. We’re outside. He’s not finished.

Although I feel the fast blows to my head and face, they seem to come at me in slow motion. I curl up into a ball on the ground.

“Protect yourself at all times!”

Who’s saying that? Who’s saying that? There’s no one else out here!

“Put your arms around your head! Protect yourself!”

I do as the voice tells me. I wrap my elbows over my ears, my hands on top of my head. Okay, that’s better. It doesn’t hurt as much. My eyes are stinging from the sandstorm. No, it’s a hail storm. I can feel big clumps of ice hammering my body.

My ears ring. Somewhere close to me Pooch is barking his head off. There’s so much noise in my ears, I can’t tell where he is. Then I scream really loud, “The first chance I get, I’m gonna kill you!”, the words that only I can hear.

Excerpt from No Hill for a Stepper by C. Dennis-Willingham, my father’s story

Author’s note: After this event in my father’s life, he later became a boxer in the Army.

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Daily word prompt: Crumb